Recently was reading(listening to) A Course In Miracles and a line about living through forgiveness really struck me and applied forgiveness to every interaction I had with others when I remembered to apply it. Of course, the more I did it the more second nature it became and I was astounded by the results.
When you live in forgiveness, you never have to apologize.
At first blush this concept sounds a bit holier than thou, but in fact it’s the farthest thing from it. Forgiving everyone before they even speak or whatever they may speak or do unsettles the ego and the mind and takes it out of defensiveness and prevents you from getting your back up. When you forgive someone deeply and completely over and over again, then when they say or do things that would normally set you off, not only does it prevent the trigger in you mind from being triggered, but it makes you see and watch your thoughts more closely as they happen. It allows you to watch your thoughts more rapidly and conscientiously, which ultimately means genuine mindfulness.
When you live forgiveness, then you live in peace.
This doesn’t mean you have to tell anyone that you forgive them. To the contrary, it would be self serving to do so and would also create strife. It’s a very simple matter of reminding yourself, that as you speak to this person, that you automatically forgive them for anything they may say or do that might offend you, hurt you, bother you, or annoy you. For some folks, you have to repeat the mantra of I forgive Sam(my friend) over and over. For others, it comes naturally and rapidly.
What’s amazing is how peacefully people respond to you and how much more you get from life and your relationships with friends and un-friends when you’ve already forgiven them. Not only does it advance your mindfulness practice in a rapid fashion, but it improves their life too. When you aren’t responding negatively to anything someone says then you reduce their propensity to do the same.
Give it a try today. Pick one person or everyone you meet and give yourself the gift of forgiving them no matter what they do, BEFORE they do it.